Eighth Grade Bites

Heather Brewer

Top 10 Best Quotes

“Whoever had decided that school should start so early in the morning and last all day long needed to be hunted down and forced to watch hours of educational televison without the aid of caffine.”

“Because teachers, no matter how kind, no matter how friendly, are sadistic and evil to the core.”

“The world is full of monsters with friendly faces.”

“People fear what they can't understand and harm what they fear.”

“Morning, sunshine." Vlad blinked at her. "Morning, sulfuric acid." "Pardon me?" "Well, isn't it just kinda wrong to call a vampire 'sunshine'?”

“Nothing could convince Aunt Nelly to let Vlad stay home for the duration of the school year, which just goes to prove that parents and guardians don't care if they're sending you to face bloodthirsty monsters, so long as you get a B in English.”

“Vlad had found himself longing to encounter those of his own kind, to travel to the streets of Elysia-that far away world, but after a while it seemed more of a fairy tale than anything else. Like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, only with fangs.”

“To his amazement, he could already hear Henry snoring in the backseat. That guy could fall asleep on a car trip to the mailbox.”

“Vlad's heart sank into his stomach, then squeezed its way down his leg and popped out of the hole in his shoe, where it struck the floor and broke.”

“According to his dad's journal, vampires had been through some of the worst epidemics in history. And apparently, during the days of the Black Plague, their biggest complaint had been rotten "food".”

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Book Keywords:

school-is-hell, teachers, humor, vampires, heather-brewer, vladmir-tod, parents, otis-otis, junior-high, vladimir-tod, heartbreak