Sh*t My Dad Says
Justin Halpern
Top 10 Best Quotes
“You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.”
“The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.”
“If you work hard and study hard. And you fuck up. That's okay. If you fuck up and you fuck up, then you're a fuckup”
“On Lego's "Listen, I don't want to stifle your creativity, but that thing you built there, it looks a pile of shit.”
“Sometimes life leaves a hundred-dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later it's because it fucked you.”
“I don't give a shit how it happened, the window is broken... Wait, why is there syrup everywhere? Okay, you know what? Now I give a shit how it happened, Let's hear it.”
“Your penis betrayed you, son. Made you think stupid. It won't be the last time that happens.”
“Don't touch that knife. YOU never need to be holding a knife... I don't give a shit, learn how to butter stuff with a spoon”
“You're ten years old now, you have to take a shower every day...I don't give a shit if you hate it. People hate smelly fuckers. I will not have a smelly fucker for a son.”
“Why would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.”
Except where otherwise noted, all rights reserved to the author(s) of this book (mentioned above). The content of this page serves solely as promotional material for the aforementioned book. If you enjoyed these quotes, you can support the author(s) by acquiring the full book from Amazon.
Book Keywords:
humor, determination, fucking-up, babies, relativity, penis, betrayal, hard-work
