Back To You

Steve Bates

Top 10 Best Quotes

“My mom said the moon landing was faked,” said Eddie. “But she also said she saw Jackie Kennedy, Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis and Bigfoot at the IHOP out by the interstate. Elvis picked up the check.”

“I have discovered that mortality is a boon as well as a curse. Knowing that you will die makes you appreciate each day that you are alive.”

“Glorious Leader, we are approaching the galaxy known as the Milky Way,” reported the navigator. “The one named after a candy bar. How silly those Earthlings are.”

“I was thinking of that old expression: Those who fail to repeat history are doomed to learn it.”

“We use time machines to learn from the past,” Chris continued. “But there are still a few things that have been puzzling some of us, and maybe you can help clear up one of them. There’s a person called Kim Kardashian—someone born in your time, I believe. She has had thousands of regeneration and cybernetic enhancement procedures. But no one can seem to recall her purpose. Does she have any special talent or reason for being kept alive all these centuries?” Heads shook in bafflement. “Anyway,” said Chris, “you’ll be glad to know that Tom Brady is still slinging footballs as far as ever. And Brett Favre is considering another comeback.”

“There really will be seventeen world wars?” asked Wade. “No, only sixteen that we know of. Everyone got together and agreed to skip number thirteen, because it would be unlucky.”

“The editorial director of the Hysteria Channel needs to be tough. This is a highly competitive business. We thrive on conflict. Do you have any experience with the kind of human misery that drives our ratings?” “If you look at the second page of my resume, you’ll see that I have destroyed at least 114 civilizations, have threatened three dozen galaxies and have haunted dimensions you’ve never even heard of. Twice, I was named Demon of the Month. That earned me a premium parking spot.” ”

“There had been that battle over the awful sign the city put up near his house when he was about seven years old, the one that read “Slow Children Playing”. He was so proud of his mom when she called the city government to complain about it and then appealed to the city council. “Why don’t you put up signs saying ‘Smart Children Playing’ on other streets instead of picking on kids like mine?”

“If you don’t mind my asking, why would a demon be concerned about appearances? Aren’t you all about killing, maiming, and torturing?” “That’s the kind of stereotyping that has afflicted demons for billions of years. Don’t you think some of us want to branch out, to explore other options?” “It never occurred to me.” “Yes, we obtain great satisfaction from killing and maiming and torturing. But there’s a lot of competition these days for the torturing thing. So many physical therapists around.” ”

“I wasn’t born yesterday. Or was I? All this time travel gets me so confused.”

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Book Keywords:

fiction, other-dimensions, past, time-travel, present, time, dimensions, fiction-fantasy, humour, history, time-machine, fantasy, war, fantasy-fiction, travel, consequences, future, fiction-novel