A Dirty Job
Christopher Moore
Top 10 Best Quotes
“Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.”
“Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.”
“Charlie Asher: I accidently shagged a monk last night. Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.”
“Charlie noted that more and more lately, he had a hard time resisting the urge to fuck with people, especially when they insisted upon behaving like idiots.”
“Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.”
“The Emperor decided to make a proclamation to his troops about the importance of compassion in the face of the rising tide of heinous fuckery and political weaselocity in the nearby kingdom of the United States.”
“Charlie had Sophie strapped to his chest like a terrorist baby bomb when he came down the back steps. She had just gotten to the point where she could hold up her head, so he had strapped her in face-out so she could look around. The way her arms and legs waved around as Charlie walked, she looked as if she was skydiving and using a skinny nerd as a parachute.”
“The hip-hop guy nodded curtly, like he knew that, and despite appearances to the contrary, he had not been trippin', but had, in fact, been chillin' like a mo-fuckin' villain, so step the fuck off, wigga. He crossed against the light, limping slightly under the weight of the subtext.”
“Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live. ”
“Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves. ”
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Book Keywords:
humor, parents
