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The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves
Stephen Grosz
Top 10 Best Quotes
“Closure is just as delusive-it is the false hope that we can deaden our living grief.”
“Being present, whether with children, with friends, or even with oneself, is hard work. But isn't this attentiveness -- the feeling that someone is trying to think about us -- something we want more than praise?”
“It is less painful, it turns out, to feel betrayed than to feel forgotten.”
“Being loved is the problem, because love is a demand - when you're loved, someone wants more of you.”
“In trying so hard to be different from our parents, we're actually doing much the same thing -- doling out empty praise the way an earlier generation doled out thoughtless criticism. If we do it to avoid thinking about our child and her world, then praise, just like criticism, is ultimately expressing our indifference.”
“There cannot be change without loss”
“All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them. But if we cannot find a way of telling our story, our story tells us- we dream these stories, we develop symptoms, or we find ourselves acting in ways we don't understand.”
“The future is a fantasy that shapes our present.”
“we all try to silence painful emotions. but when we succeed in feeling nothing we lose the only means we have of knowing what hurts us and why.”
“A lot of people, especially psychoanalysts, assume that happiness can only be found in a couple - but not all of us are made for a relationship.”
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Book Keywords:
assumption, grief, present-moment, being-loved, death, demand, love, happiness, psychoanalyst, closure, praise, opinion, people, couple, relationship, attentiveness, psychology, problem, feeling
