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Alice Clayton

Top 10 Best Quotes

“He was wooing me. And I was letting him woo. I wanted the woo. I deserved the woo. I needed the wow that would surely follow the woo, but for now, the woo? It was whoa.”

“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot. His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.”

“You done with work? Yep, at home waiting for you. Now that's a nice visual... Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven. Don't tease me woman...zucchini? Cranberry orange. Mmmm... No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do. Ha! When you coming? Can't. Drive. Straight. Can we have one conversation when you're not twelve? Sorry, I'll be there in 30 Perfect, that will give me time to frost my buns. Pardon me? Oh, didn't I tell you? I also made cinnamon rolls. Be there in 25.”

“I moaned like a whore in church. To be fair, I’d never actually heard a whore moan in church, but I had a feeling it sounded a lot like the unholy sounds pouring forth from my mouth.”

“Wine?” “Am I breathing?” “Wine it is.”

“You really have no idea, do you?” “No idea about what?” “How thoroughly you own me, Nightie Girl,” he said, leaning in to whisper this part in my ear. “And I know I love you enough to want you to have your happy ending.”

“Get your ass over here right now, you motherfucking scary movie pusher.”

“Sweet dreams and thin walls... Mother of Pearl. He'd heard me.”

“You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed. “You have no idea,” he promised.”

“Hi, pot. It’s me, kettle,” Sophia snapped back. “Hi kettle, you have about thirty seconds before this pot kicks your ass.”

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