No Hope for Gomez!

Graham Parke

Top 10 Best Quotes

“Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.”

“Mathematicians finally developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. Any two kinds of fruit can be compared, although guavas still cause minor rounding errors.”

“The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.”

“I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg. I felt dirty and stupid.”

“We played for about half an hour before I realized we were actually playing two different games. What I’d thought of as ludo was actually a game called gin rummy, and what Warren was playing seemed to be a mixture of craps and table tennis. Once we started playing by one consistent set of rules, though, the fun was really over.”

“You’re stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, and now you know, beyond a doubt, that you’re an asshole.”

“She’s funny and intelligent, well-mannered and clean, and her smile is exceedingly cute. Also, she has big tits.”

“In all these years, I’ve never seen you smile so often. Are you mentally ill?”

“Gravity has a slightly stronger hold on me than it does on other people. I’m sure of it. It pulls on me a little harder during the day, and really tugs away at me first thing in the morning. It’s freaky.”

“why hadn’t all these women tried to jump me?”

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Book Keywords:

mental, humor, quirky, relationships, breakdown, funny, comedy, philosophy, literature