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The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness out of Blame

Pete Walker

Top 10 Best Quotes

“We do not have to let other people’s irresponsible emotional expression alienate us from our feelings.”

“Emotional incest is yet another form of emotional abuse. Emotional incest commonly involves the reversal of the parent/child roles. When this occurs, the mother or father "parentifies" the child who is then manipulated to gratify the unmet childhood needs of the parent. This typically manifests as the parent pumping the child for the unconditional love that she should herself be giving.”

“The only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid unavoidable pain.”

“Verbal abuse is the use of language to shame, scare or hurt another. Dysfunctional parents routinely use name-calling, sarcasm, and destructive criticism to overpower and control their children. Verbal abuse is as commonplace in the American family as homework and table manners. It is modeled as socially acceptable in almost every sitcom on television.”

“Time does not heal wounds without acknowledgement of what has happened. You need to clarify your feelings and express them in a way that defines in detail what you have lost and how much you care about what you have lost . . . – Peter Leech & Zeva Singer”

“Unfortunately, premature forgiveness strands us in relationships with our parents that are as devoid of genuine warmth and intimacy as ever. Unless we work through the unresolved fear and hurt our parents caused us, we will always be uneasy around them and hold them at an emotional distance. This is commonly the case even when they have outgrown their abusive ways.”

“I have been down many blind alleys in my attempts to come to terms with my emotions. I’ve repressed them, swallowed them, drowned them in drink, ascended above them in clouds of hemp, starved them out, interred them with food, transcended them in meditation, outrun them, outsmarted them with rationalization, exorcised them, handed them over to higher beings, transmuted them into pretty lights, and even briefly felt them before purging them in dramatic catharses that promised to render them finally extinct.”

“Experiencing one’s own inadequacies and still going on in spite of them are two of the greatest achievements of adulthood.”

“Man cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. – Alexis Canell”

“How many tasks had I dared not attempt because I accepted their reverberating jibes that I was “good for nothing?”

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Book Keywords:

media, childhood, society, love, healing, family-relationships, abuse, abusive-relationships, parenting, emotional-abuse

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