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Shopping for a Billionaire

Julia Kent

Top 10 Best Quotes

“People who think animals have expressionless faces are like people who can ignore an open package of Oreos. Not quite human.”

“You snitch!” It’s 6:45p.m. and I am being held hostage by terrorist extremists with a list of demands that make Al-Qaeda look like preschoolers playing pirate.”

“Marie Jacoby is what all my friends called a MILFF—Mother I’d Like to Flee From.”

“If you’ve never been in a men’s room, and have only set foot in the ladies’ room at most fine (and not so fine) establishments, you need to know this: store owners hate men. No, really—this is the one area where women get treated better. We may earn seventy-seven cents on the dollar compared to men, but, by God, our public bathrooms don’t look like something out of a Soviet-era prison. Or worse—a Sochi hotel during the Olympics.”

“Why is she covered in water?”

“Speaking of billionaires, hellllooooo, Christian Grey.”

“Josh is the company tech expert, which means we all think he’s a little bit shaman, a little bit magician, and mostly a nerd.”

“It’s not like I could possibly be pregnant. Maybe the cobwebs are in the way…). Did I mention this is my ninth store of the day? I started at 5:30”

“sort. That gave me one hour and eighteen minutes to”

“seventy-four degrees.”

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Book Keywords:

humorous, nerds, animals

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