This is a Book
Demetri Martin
Top 10 Best Quotes
“100% of the people who give 110% do not understand math.”
“A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.”
“THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.”
“It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else instead, like “Flames!” or “Smoke maker!” or “Bad hot!”
“REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.”
“Words have power, you dumb piece of shit.”
“Like a lot of people, I’ve always enjoyed commenting on strangers’ outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do it with. And, let me tell you, commenting on people’s hilarious clothing choices through a megaphone makes it so much better.”
“Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?”
“I am the Walrus, but not the one you're probably thinking of. I am the other Walrus, the one who is less the Walrus in the sense of legendary music and more the Walrus in the sense of his tendency to to lie around in places for too long.”
“Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.”
Except where otherwise noted, all rights reserved to the author(s) of this book (mentioned above). The content of this page serves solely as promotional material for the aforementioned book. If you enjoyed these quotes, you can support the author(s) by acquiring the full book from Amazon.
Book Keywords:
humor, words-have-power, humour, relationships, this-is-a-book, demetri-martin
