Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
Jarod Kintz
Top 10 Best Quotes
“I may name the title of my next duck quotes book: “I shit where I want.” The cover will feature ducks, but inside the book I may sneak in a few photos of homeless people in San Francisco.”
“When I put off a task until the last minute, I'm not procrastinating—I'm exercising great patience. I learned that from my ducks, who do nothing all day, but still manage to accomplish everything they are supposed to do.”
“Some people talk nonstop, but say nothing. Ducks speak only one word, quack, and communicate everything.”
“Ducks are the songbirds of all feathered swimmers. What song? Bette Midler's Wind Beneath My Wings.”
“At karaoke night, my ducks always sing Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings." I mean I do too, because when I try to sing R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" they boo me off stage.”
“Popeyes is coming to town, and with it The Spicy Chicken Sandwich. As a duck farmer I'm jealous. I wish I had a food item that customers were willing to stab each other over. What great marketing: We offer something that's worth getting knifed in line for the chance to buy.”
“My ducks could absolutely save humanity. I keep asking them to help, but they simply refuse.”
“If water could be shaped like clay, then swimming ducks would be master sculptors. If I were to commission a statue of myself, I'd hire splashing ducks at play.”
“I read the newspaper a little at a time. I cut the paper up into tiny slivers, each about the size of a fortune cookie slogan, and then I mix all the scraps together and then read them at random one by one. That's how I stay current with duck farm trends.”
“A group of ducks is a raft, and a cluster of crows is a murder, but what collection of birds is a gang? Probably geese. They are always engaging in lawlessness and doing graffiti.”
Except where otherwise noted, all rights reserved to the author(s) of this book (mentioned above). The content of this page serves solely as promotional material for the aforementioned book. If you enjoyed these quotes, you can support the author(s) by acquiring the full book from Amazon.
Book Keywords:
singing, humor, reading, ducks, water, absurd, communication, book, procrastination, sculpture, art, marketing, song, duck-quotes, trend, duck-quote, patience, duck, books, newspaper, read, speak, clay, music, talk, play, talking, news, humanity, speaking, quack, work, graffiti
