One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
Jarod Kintz
Top 10 Best Quotes
“After watching my ducks swim, I started writing poetry using body language. If I could also time travel, I'd go back and ask Wordsworth, "What are words worth?”
“People have been stabbed over spicy chicken sandwiches. The duck farm industry could benefit from that kind of violence to help increase sales.”
“I don’t play music. In fact, I don’t play music so well that I’m The Mozart of Silence. You should witness how my ducks enjoy water dancing to my soundlessness.”
“A library without books is not a library at all. Well, what is it then? It’s a room full of shelves to keep all your ducks.”
“I've never had a spicy chicken sandwich worth getting stabbed over. But that's the kind of organic marketing experience I'd like to bring to duck farming.”
“If you like java, furniture, and literature, then you'll love coffee table books. Why don't you try mine? It's full of duck quotes, and it comes with FREE refills.”
“I sleep in my sunglasses. They’re two miles away and I’m awake at the time, thanks to my ducks and their quacking and their loud jazz music in the early morning hours between 3-5 PM.”
“I just shared a near-death experience with a duck. Tell Grandmother I’ll be home by $2.99, but that I plan on using a coupon, so don't wait up for me.”
“For best use, turn ON the Revenge Machine before attempting to use it. It also doesn’t have an OFF switch, because you have to destroy it—or it will destroy you. That's how I nearly lost my duffel bag full of ducks.”
“All the funny faces I could possibly make I've already made, and I did them all while tasting her cooking. She made food fit for a contortionist, and I'm glad I never gave her my recipe for duck soup.”
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Book Keywords:
ducks, spicy-chicken-sandwich, money, absurd, duck-quotes, farming, poetry, duck, surreal, cook, farm, music, coffee, books, recipe, revenge, sales, jazz, cooking, duck-farming, marketing, duck-quote, book, near-death-experience, literature, library, family, body-language
