Southern Lady Code: Essays
Helen Ellis
Top 10 Best Quotes
“If you don’t know what to do with the rest of your life, make your bed. If you’re going to be a couch potato, at least fluff the pillows. If you can’t afford pearls, red nail polish is your best accessory. If you don’t have time to do your nails, smile and stand up straight.”
“Mama says, " Helen Michelle, a lot of women have trouble saying no and then find themselves in worse situations because they were afraid of being rude. So, if you have trouble saying no, say 'No, thank you.' Let's practice.”
“One of Mama's parenting mantras was: "Oh, Helen Michelle, I have yet to begin to embarrass you.”
“There’s nothing nicer than unexpected appreciation. If you’re grateful, get a pen.”
“Southern Lady Code: a technique by which, if you don't have something nice to say, you say something not-so-nice in a nice way.”
“I looked so preppy you'd guess my tramp stamp was a monogram”
“Because it turns out, "If it happens, it happens" is Southern Lady Code for we don't want kids.”
“My sense of humor will be a ray of sunshine if our plane death-spirals into the frozen tundra”
“Etiquette for phone solicitors: "Helen Michelle, the way you stop someone from calling again is by saying, 'Thank you so much for calling, but I've just murdered my husband and need to finish digging a hole in the backyard. Good-bye.”
“Alabama was not - and I don't think is - an abortion-friendly state. Remember: Birmingham is where a man made the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list by bombing a Southside abortion clinic, killing a security guard. The bomber's brother was so upset by the manhunt that to protest, he cut off his own hand with a circular saw. And he videotaped it. And then he drove himself to the hospital. EMTs were sent to his house to collect the hand, and a surgeon reattached it. This is Southern Gothic country. Our zealots don't play.”
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Book Keywords:
southern, southern-craziness, life-lessons, living-well, good-neighbor, gratitude, feminism, having-kids, humor, etiquette
