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Notes From Your Therapist
Allyson Dinneen
Top 10 Best Quotes
“Person 1: I'm hurting. Person 2: Just don't think about it. Person 1's nervous system: {Not a chance.}”
“I wish I hadn't been taught that it was my job to make people happy all the time instead of that people are allowed to feel not happy.”
“People we love have difficult feelings. That's not something to fix or run away from. But accepting that can take practice if you grew up learning that painful feelings were some kind of failure.”
“I often think we're really seeking one main thing: people whose eyes, when they see us, light up with delight.”
“You're not here to be perfect or to set a good example or to please anyone. You were born to love & enjoy your ordinary, peculiar, inconsistent, good-enough self.”
“You might not WANT to feel needy. But your nervous system is extremely evolved to drive you to seek safe emotional connection with others--and it has millions of years of a head start on your wish to be above that.”
“You hate being needy but anyone who shamed you for needing support, safety, or love was just in conflict with their own neediness. People are built for emotional needs--it's what defines being human.”
“You don't have to 'get over' your feelings. Why shouldn't they take as long as they take?”
“When we shut down certain feelings, it's easy to lose our natural relationship with them. But having feelings is an essential part of being human. They are the essence of who you are as a person, and without them it's hard to know important things about yourself like: who you are, what kind of relationships you want, what you want to do for work or purpose, what gives your life meaning. All of these things require having access to your feelings.”
“When family, school & society put so much emphasis on being perfect, strong, happy & well-adjusted--no surprise we conclude we have to be all those things to be loved. And grow up never knowing that to be vulnerable, messy, human is lovable.”
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Book Keywords:
healing, emotions, toxic-positivity, love, feelings, perfectionism, human-needs, acceptance, connection-with-people, connection-to-others, needs, being-loved, knowing-yourself, self-love, feel-your-feelings, nervous-system