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Holidays on Ice

David Sedaris

Top 10 Best Quotes

“If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt?”

“All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.”

“Sallie Mae sounds like a naive and barefoot hillbilly girl but in fact they are a ruthless and aggressive conglomeration of bullies located in a tall brick building somewhere in Kansas. I picture it to be the tallest building in that state and I have decided they hire their employees straight out of prison.”

“Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.”

“It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.”

“Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game. ”

“Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation.”

“I didn't know about the rest of the class, but when Bastille Day eventually rolled around, I planned to stay home and clean my oven.”

“The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.”

“But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I will not be hired, that I couldn't even find work as an elf. That's when you know you're a failure.”

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Book Keywords:

humor, individuality, identity, christmas, children, humorous, santa

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