Thwonk
Joan Bauer
Top 10 Best Quotes
“It was February sixth: eight days until Valentine's Day. I was dateless, as usual, deep in the vice grip of unrequited love. It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids in their windows by January second to rub it in.”
“Mom put dense cheddar bread into a bag for a man who said this was his wife's favorite - he'd driven all the way from New Jersey to buy it because today was their anniversary. Several women in the store jabbed their husbands on hearing this. I hung my head - Peter Terris wouldn't cross the street to buy me a Twinkie.”
“Guys don't understand great art. They don't care that sometimes the camera has power beyond the photographer to record emotion that only the heart can see. They're threatened when the camera jumps ahead of me. Todd Kovich was pissed when I brought my Nikon to the prom, but I'd missed too many transcendent shots over the years to ever take a chance of missing one again. A prom, I told him, had a boundless supply of photogenic bozos who could be counted on to do something base.”
“Mom has the Touch. She knows what flowers go with what occasions, what hors d'oeuvres work with what people. She believes passionately in the power of food to heal, restore, and stimulate relationships, and she has built a following of loyal customers who really hope she's right. If she's wrong, says Sonia, no one wants to know.”
“If you can't find an answer at the mall or the library, what does that say about the world?”
“You can’t be with someone else effectively, unless you can stand to be alone with yourself," he declared. "Being part of a couple isn’t the final answer. It can’t define who you are.”
“There they were, the movers and shakers of Benjamin Franklin Hight - the sports stars, the cheerleaders, the good, the great, the gorgeous - bent over their pizzas. Trish sensed my angst and said, "My mother says girls like Lisa Shooty get the ultimate curse known to man." "What's that?" "Too much too soon." I looked at poor, cursed Lisa who had been sprayed with sex appeal at birth. She had gleaming teeth and long, raven-black curls. She threw back her head and laughed with diamond-studded joy. "When do you think the curse takes effect?" I asked. "Not in our lifetime," Trish answered.”
“What, Mother, could possibly happen in forty-eight hours?” She chose not to answer. “I’ll strap a fire extinguisher on my back and lug around the mobile phone, okay?” “Even when you sleep . . .” she insisted. I put my hand over my heart. “So help me, Mom, I’ll look so weird, no one will come near me.” “That’s my girl.”
“Wait a minute!” I shouted, ”Magic is never one-sided!” Stieglitz barked in agreement. There was always a way to weasel out, everyone knew that. True, it was usually a weird way, like giving your firstborn child to a gnarled dwarf, but heroines under stress promise all kinds of things. Alice got out of Wonderland, didn’t she? Sleeping Beauty woke up. I wouldn’t give up without a fight!”
“She has a sign in her office: TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS REQUIRED.”
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Book Keywords:
artists, humor, boyfriend, bakery, envy, twonk, prom, self-pity, valentine-s-day, desperation, popular-kids, business, jealousy, incrowd, anniversary, that-special-something, high-school, food, self-delusion, catering, photography, belief, unrequited-love, commercialization, love, relationships, shopping, angst
