Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.
Jarod Kintz
Top 10 Best Quotes
“Coaching is the only thing where the more someone else practices, the better you get. That’s my kind of hard work. People always ask me, "Jarod, how come you don't have a Guinness World Record for getting others to do what you aren't capable of doing?" I tell them I don't worry about awards, because I'm a buy-my-own-trophies kind of guy. Plus, I'm too busy being the greatest duck farmer in history. Then I give them the customer service number to call at Guinness, because that's a good question that demands to be answered.”
“Have you ever noticed that neither cats nor dogs ever laugh? I used to think I was doing something wrong, that maybe I needed to start telling better jokes. But no, all I needed to do was get a different audience. That's when I discovered ducks.”
“Every time a duck talks to you, it says, "Quack." That's a species so advanced it has reduced the complexity of communication down to a one-word language.”
“You and I don’t even have to speak to communicate. Body language is wordless telepathy. Collectively, ducks are The William Wordsworth of unwritten and unspoken poetry, so what are words really worth?”
“I wrote a duck dictionary. It's got one word in it that's defined—the word Quack. However, it's as thick as a normal dictionary, because that one word means everything.”
“Ducks communicate by quacking. Though it sounds like they are endlessly repeating themselves, what if their language functions at such a high cognitive level that it's so efficient that it reduces all thoughts down to one word, without the possibility of being misunderstood?”
“When you think of stylish fashion designers, you probably think of Tom Ford, Donatella Versace, Giorgio Armani, and BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm. Wait, what? You don't think about the first three?”
“Mold won’t grow on McDonald’s. So, if a lifeform with no brain won’t even eat their food, what’s that say about the intellects of McDonald’s customers? BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm caters to more discerning consumers.”
“People ask me, "Jarod, why haven't you won an NFL Championship by now?" My answer is the same. I reply, "I may not be Mozart, or I might be, who's to say, but if you put me in an elevator, I'm going to make music that fills the space completely, like duck quacks in a can.”
“Men make laws to enslave other men, and then men call it FREEDOM. If you want to know about freedom, go watch ducks splashing around in water.”
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