How to Choose a Partner
Susan Quilliam
Top 10 Best Quotes
“For love may be wonderful, but it demands time, space, energy and a willingness to accommodate.”
“you mixed all four together what you’d get would be sex labelled ‘normal”
“tendency to be anxious. Sex that is self-focussed, performance-oriented, with little emotional openness, could be labelled ‘sealed off’ sex; it signals avoidant tendencies. I would add that energetic, forceful, ‘fight it all out’ passion is what one might call ‘squabble sex’ and might reflect an attacking tendency.”
“sex which involves a healthy balance between physical pleasure and emotional bonding might be called ‘synchrony sex’ and reflects a secure tendency. Sex used largely for comfort and as a way to calm doubts or conflicts, which Johnson terms ‘solace sex’, suggests a”
“Values: what makes our existence most worthwhile: safety, excitement, social recognition, happiness, self-respect, status. • Life goals: the achievements we crave during a lifetime: career success, financial security, travel, adventure, marriage, children. • Personality: a combination of character and temperament: honesty, mental acuity, kindness, generosity, bravery, commitment to hard work.”
“The real challenge is that we grow. Partner choice is a self-development journey, driving us to learn more about ourselves, about other people, about life and the way we want to live it. Take all that on board and we start to realize just how big an adventure choosing a partner is.”
“The more established we are in our world, the less flexibility we have for allowing a partner into that world.”
“The issue of fortuitous encounters brings us to an interesting double standard here. We may recoil in horror at the thought of haphazard chance determining our future life partner, but label that chance `destiny` and we’re entranced by the prospect. On one hand we feel the need to be in control of our romantic choices; on the other hand the thought of losing control can be hugely seductive.”
“The first amber question to ask is this. Is now the right time to be seeking a committed relationship? There are many life situations, temporary transitions and extended periods where being single is essential.”
“The composer Robert Schumann, when he achieved his initial musical success, is said to have compared it to his forthcoming marriage in these words: ‘I doubt if being a bridegroom will be in the same class with these first joys of being a composer … I now … marry the wide world.’ If you are seeking a relationship only because it is what ‘everyone’ does, try on for size the possibility that you are not everyone. You are special and the best way for you to thrive may be to ‘marry the wide world’.”
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Book Keywords:
destiny, duality, relationships, soulmate, exploration, dating
