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Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence
Lindsay C. Gibson
Top 10 Best Quotes
“Your relationship with yourself is the most vital relationship you have, essential for real connection with other people.”
“When you disregard your own feelings and thoughts, your inner world feels empty and you start obsessing over other people and external circumstances. You then try to get other people to fill the vacuum left behind by your own emotional self-neglect.”
“What fascinates me is how we decide which of these inner voices to listen to. How do we tell which voice is a good source of guidance and which is going to get us into trouble? Many people have told me that they had a quiet knowing about a situation way before they took action on it. They could remember when a still, small voice told them the truth, even if they were not ready to accept what it had to say. Have you had this experience? Even years later, you recall that you knew all along that something was a bad idea. Yet instead, you followed the insistent voice telling you that you must do otherwise, regardless of how you felt or what you knew.”
“This is often the result of trying to be something that you are not, such as trying to fit in with or please an EI person. But when you are attuned with your soul, the meaning of life feels self-evident, and you feel right with the world.”
“This further disconnects you from your inner world, reinforcing the false belief that security and stimulation can only come from outside yourself. Relationships become frustrating under these conditions because you’re looking to other people for a validation that is already yours.”
“The pleasure you get from task completion is powerful, but it has a short half-life. It does not linger to sustain you over the days to come. Enjoyment of task completion fades surprisingly fast, just like a drug high. That is because there is no heart in it, no warm, glowing feeling of connection to the world and other people. It is a sugar high compared to the sustaining nutrients of relational, experiential living.”
“So if you catch yourself saying, “I’m not that kind of person,” ask yourself, “How do I know that?” Is it true deep in your soul, or is it because you were made to feel uncomfortable about those interests?”
“It’s the people who don’t listen to their soul and don’t feel that self-connection who end up causing the most suffering for others.”
“It now sets goals without consulting the emotions at all. Whoever gets you to accept an idea—especially when it goes against your deeper feelings—owns your soul. This has been the goal of brainwashers for centuries, and EI parents do it too. Once you’ve been trained to trust your thoughts over your feelings, you can be made to believe that bad situations and exploitative people are necessary in your life and even good for you.”
“In childhood, when people invalidate or dismiss your inner experiences, your inner world seems unworthy of being taken seriously.”
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