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Out and Back
Hillary Allen
Top 10 Best Quotes
“Like anything that is important in our lives, we don’t understand the why intellectually at first; we can’t categorize or describe it in a discrete way. We just know that it has space and power in our lives, and it feels significant. You may not understand it, but you feel its weight and importance. This is why I run, why I adventure and go out to push myself day in and day out. I am searching for connection through solitude. I connect with myself, with the spaces I explore, with the human experience and existence itself. Without the extremes I can encounter through running, these playgrounds and experiences of being outside of my comfort zone, I can’t feel truly connected or understood—by others or myself. This manner of self-exploration looks different for different people. It can happen through anything that pushes you to be better and really question your purpose here on this earth, causing you to search for the answers within yourself and through your medium.”
“when we start to think of life in distinct blocks or chunks of time, little pieces that must fit in exactly the correct space or place in order to feel complete, life can start to feel like a cage. A cage that we are unable to escape even though we set the restrictions and enforce the rules.”
“the inability to attain any achievement meant the ultimate freedom to explore, to learn, grow, and experience all this life has to offer. Every setback, twist, and turn on life’s journey, every new goal and achievement I set before myself became an opportunity to be creative, to learn, and to become better.”
“pushing through or ignoring uncomfortable emotions only made them worse or manifested them in bigger, uglier ways. I wasn’t going to pretend the negative thoughts weren’t there. I wanted to understand them, be compassionate with myself, and find a way to heal.”
“You are exceptional in everything you do. That’s part of you. It’s ingrained in your DNA. You are going to try your best at everything you do. Accepting yourself as you are isn’t going to change that. It’s only going to help you get out of your own way. Accepting yourself for the light and fire that you have only can make the fire grow more. What you are doing with self-doubt, and tricking yourself into not believing in your own power, is stifling that flame, depriving it of oxygen so it can only grow so big. Self-acceptance, believing that you are indeed perfect—and I use that word purposefully…I’ll say it again, that you are perfect—as you are, is the only real way to self-enlightenment. You won’t forget to work hard and strive for your best, because that’s innate within you. That’s who you are.”
“Why do I run? Why do I want to run again? Why did I want to return to something that caused me so much pain? These are questions I ask myself every day. They are questions I asked myself every day during my recovery, and they are the questions I read in the eyes of my mother, my friends, and my loved ones. Sometimes I didn’t understand why I kept going. I didn’t always have the answers to these questions. Often, I still can’t even put it into words. Why?”
“We aren’t automatically ready when tough things happen to us. They usually catch us by surprise and seem like an unwelcomed burden or obstacle. But we are instinctively prepared. If we are willing to welcome the discomfort that comes with growth and change, we can begin to shift our perspective and learn from those experiences.”
“Understanding your why is a concept—a oneness, a state of mind, a state of being. It’s like learning something new. At first it doesn’t make sense. It’s confusing. You have to work at it and study it to comprehend it. But in the end, once you’ve put in the work, suddenly it’s there, beautiful and magnificent, and you can’t live without it.”
“There’s no lack of competitive spirit within me, but what there isn’t enough of is patience to enjoy the process and let go of the expectations and end goals associated with my competitive nature. Just because I didn’t get everything done on my to-do list, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure or undeserving of patience, grace, and a little forgiveness. This was one of the most important things I learned, and it’s something I continue to practice every day. Patience takes practice and it’s not perfect; therein lies the beauty. Winning is great. Being prepared is wonderful. I really enjoy it, but it’s predictable, finite, and dull.”
“The valuable process of being vulnerable not only let me connect with others, but also grew my belief in myself. Early in the healing process most days still felt impossible, and I often had the urge to give up. But, gradually, I started to lean into my vulnerability. Even on the days when I didn’t want to keep going—especially on those days—I still got out of bed, tucked my journal and wallet in my basket, and found a way to get out the door”
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