Even If We Break
Marieke Nijkamp
Top 10 Best Quotes
“And at some point, you discover if you’re going to be afraid anyway, you may as well do the things that scare you.”
“Some sounds can break through everything: Silence. Tension. Night. Imagination.”
“Not being able to do everything on your own doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re as human as we all are, and we’re stronger together. We survived because we were together. Asking for help isn’t failure, it’s strength. It means you trust yourself enough to be flawed and to learn. Because here’s the secret: You don’t have to be infallible. You don’t have to know it all. No one is and no one does.”
“It’s not giving up. It’s standing together, not alone. It’s facing whatever comes next. Because you believe in a cause, perhaps, but most of all, you believe in one another.”
“I try to focus, but there's a disconnect between my body and my mind, like nothing about it fits anymore. I don't feel like I belong in this body, I don't know how to interact with this world. It feels like I'm observing through a veil, and I don't know how to move. Panic is a type of pain too.”
“The world is a messed up and scary place. It's lonely to go through it on your own. So, you have to find your family. You have to find people who will stand by you and make you laugh until you cry, and who will hold you while you cry until you laugh again.”
“It's hard, isn't it? Trusting others with the whole of you?" She smiles bitterly and shakes her head. "It's so much easier to lie. You know that. You lie too.”
“Here's the thing. I never quite know if I'm responding the "right" way to anything happening around me. Should I be more scared? Should I be angrier? Should fear immobilize me? What happens around me and how my brain responds to it are two entirely different things, and I can't tell all the time how they're connecting.”
“Before the accident—BTA—I didn't know anger and pain could feel the same. I didn't think physical pain and emotional pain could simply be extensions of each other. Now, I could hardly separate the two. And I wanted to crash my fist into a kitchen cabinet or my knee into a chair. Find a more harmful way to stim. Either make the pain worse or make it go away.”
“None of my doctors told me about how pain wears you down until you sometimes don't know where physical pain stops and mental pain begins. They didn't tell me about the anger and the fear and the helplessness. Finn told me and then, when I finally let him, held me while I let it all sink in.”
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Book Keywords:
anger, stimming, trust, chronic-illness, pain, dissociation, autism, home, self-harm, chronic-pain, friends, emotions, family, shutdown, flat-affect, intimacy
