A Saint and a Sinner: The Rise and Fall of a Beloved Catholic Priest
Stephen H. Donnelly
Top 10 Best Quotes
“With a shooting pain to my head, I closed my eyes tight and envisioned the disgusted look on my mother’s face. The blueprint of the perfect child that Mom had so carefully crafted was incompatible with the lying, cheating, stealing man I had become; I felt worthless. But I had a new master, one that controlled my body, mind, and soul.”
“When he returned from St. John Vianney, Charlie felt fully vindicated. “They couldn’t find one thing wrong with me, Stephen.” All I could think was, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” I knew in my heart; I could not even cast a pebble.”
“There’s a certain mystique about a priest’s uniform; black slacks, black shirt, and Roman collar that evokes different responses from different people—sometimes reverence, other times disdain. Being perceived as a pillar of the community can be a heady experience for a new priest, and one’s ego needs to be checked continually. The collar can also be an aphrodisiac for certain women, single or married, who are attracted to and flirt with the “unattainable” priest.”
“The old cliché, “There are no words,” is regarded by many as an empty platitude, but I beg to differ. Well-meaning people use the expression over and over because it’s true. We don’t have the language to describe the grief that comes in waves, swallows us up, and keeps us on our knees. There is no road map through grief: it takes time, patience, and love for the soul to heal and reemerge. A deep faith in God and the belief that, as promised, we will indeed see our loved ones again in heaven has kept many people anchored until such time as they can right the ship and find the joy in living again.”
“The lying was killing me! But I have high pain tolerance, especially self- inflicted pain. As I nearly emptied the bottle, I swore I saw Satan in the shadows of the darkened room. His voice dripped with sarcasm as he taunted me. “Congratulations on your diaconal ordination, Stephen.”
“Suddenly, there was no anger, no tears, or ultimatums. All that remained was the realization that the dream had withered and died. I guess that’s what happens to love when the expectations are too high, there are a plethora of insurmountable obstacles, and too much at stake. Even fairy tales have unexpected endings; not everyone lives happily ever after. For years, I had been swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Perhaps this breakup was the only way I could genuinely rediscover myself.”
“Some Catholics put priests on pedestals, viewing them as deserving of reverence for their sacred calling and sacrifice. The religious landscape is littered with priests who could not live up to the ideal of celibacy. Like a reluctant soldier sent off to war, to kill or be killed, priests who cannot maintain a celibate lifestyle were not fit for duty.”
“Sam and I sat across from each other in silence for what seemed like forever until he finally spoke. “Deceit is an art form for most addicts. Lies close enough to the truth that they remain undetected—and lies so grandiose you’d never imagine a person could make them up—are the foundation of a house of cards. Pull out just one half-truth, and the whole thing collapses. “You have become an expert at lying, Stephen.” I winced as my guilt hung around my neck like an albatross. Finally, in a voice that sounded small, weak, and strange even to me, I said, “I had a dream, you know. I’m in the middle of a monster-sized whirlwind, and I can see myself, hear myself screaming for help with one hand barely above the fray and—” “Stephen,” Sam interrupted, “Only a fool stays put during a hurricane.”
“Remorse hit me like a sledgehammer. I felt sick inside as I counted all the people I had let down. My brain quickly ran through several scenarios. Had I irreparably damaged my relationship with Charlie? Would Camilla finally abandon me? Would the Church blacklist me? In the court of public opinion, would I be considered a persona non grata?”
“Priests are viewed by many as stoic, even heroic, to voluntarily choose to never marry or engage in sexual activity for the rest of their lives. Others think, “What man in his right mind would make such a promise?”
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Book Keywords:
forgiveness, redemption, addiction-recovery, biographies, memoir, 12-step-program, catholicism
