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I Think You're Wrong (But I'm Listening): A Guide to Grace-Filled Political Conversations
Sarah Stewart Holland
Top 10 Best Quotes
“Somewhere along the way, we lost our revolutionary passion for talking about the issues that affect our country and our lives. We decided that conversational conflict is impolite at best and dangerous at worst. Unfortunately our attempts to avoid these uncomfortable moments have backfired. In our efforts to protect relationships from political tension, we have instead escalated that tension. Because the reality is that we never stopped talking politics altogether—we stopped talking politics with people who disagree with us. We changed “you shouldn’t talk about politics” to “you should talk only to people who reinforce your worldview.” Instead of giving ourselves the opportunity to be molded and informed and tested by others’ opinions, we allowed our opinions and our hearts to harden.”
“We don’t want to be challenged or even questioned, because we believe there is too much at stake. We have tied together our religious beliefs, our pride in our upbringings, and our policy positions until they’ve become like a tangled mess of necklaces that we shove in a drawer—still treasured but unwearable.”
“Our prevailing philosophy is “you do you”—be who you were made to be, make your own decisions, and live your best life. We just want you to actually do you—not Rachel Maddow or Sean Hannity—based on the experiences that you’re having every day and the values that you want to infuse into your life. And we want you to do you with your friends and neighbors and fellow parishioners and colleagues. Political pundits have become fond of discussing partisan politics as “tribal.” We don’t want your tribe to be your political party. We want it to be the communities in which you live, worship, and work—diverse in thought as they may be.”
“The jersey also blinds us to the humanity of the other side. This team-sport mentality has created a toxic mix of competition and confirmation bias. Our team is never wrong, and the other team is always wrong. Somewhere along the way we stopped disagreeing with each other and started hating each other. We are enemies, and our side is engaged in an existential battle for the very soul of the country. We are no longer working toward common goals. We are no longer building something together. Our sole objective is tearing the other side down. Nothing short of total victory is acceptable. Again, it’s much like how we view college basketball in Kentucky: We can’t just beat the other side. We have to annihilate them.”
“Paradox is disorienting at times. It is also empowering. It can be empowering to say “I don’t know.” It can be empowering to trust the testimonies and experiences of others. As people of faith, we should know that and live that experience.”
“Molds are for Jell-O, not for people.”
“participating in the political process is a spiritual imperative, but we should participate as an expression of our faith, not as a fulfillment of our faith. In other words, faith or values should inform rather than define our votes, opinions, and ways of talking with our neighbors about the future of the country. When we’re participating, as Michael says, with our feet grounded in our values, there is no room for bitter partisanship.22”
“When we lead with the values that inform our faith - compassion, forgiveness, and love - we enter into even the most emotionally charged discussions with a new perspective. We might not change our minds about the outcomes, but we can change our conversations by listening with openness and receptivity to those who think differently than we do.”
“We've decided to stop calling America "divided." Buying into this conflict-driven narrative is a choice, and it's a choice we're not going to make. We don't feel divided from each other or the people in our lives in any way. There are no perfect relationships, ideas, people, or organizations in our lives. They're all flawed, just as we are flawed. But we see past those flaws - because we are first looking for the good.”
“We can move to a more productive outlook when we realize that our personal values are not lost if we collectively make decisions that deviate from those values. We can hold on to our values without needing public validation of them. We can recognize that different considerations are at work in the public debate than our private lives. We can seek out expressions of our values beyond the public sphere. We can recognize that sometimes more good comes out of expressing our values through private action than through public debate.”
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Book Keywords:
molds, people, different, unique, perspective, values, faith, politics, paradox